We took another step into adulthood: Costco membership, executive level. I hope it’s worthwhile! On the day we went in, Dr. H stepped off to the side to take a phone call.
On Call
While I was at the membership counter filling out some paperwork, he was offered a chief resident position…and he accepted! He and a handful of others from his program are the creme de la creme, the bees knees, the ones who have top-notch clinical and leadership skills.
From my vantage point, internal medicine residents kind of “campaign” to be chief. I put that in quotes because the selection process seems to be shrouded in secrecy after the nominations are in. I’m not sure how other programs choose their chief residents, but to me, it seems to be less about spouting off qualifications and more about letting colleagues know that you’d be receptive to the post.
A chief year is another year of residency, which begs the question: does one really need to be a chief? No, you don’t have to accept if they offer it to you, and obviously, it delays #itgetsbetter. But sometimes you do what you need to do what you want, and being a chief resident is a neat thing in the medical community. Dr. H wants to pursue a fellowship; being a chief resident carries some weight.
My MIL is an OR nurse. When we told our families the good news, she sent a card with this little gem:
She received this when she was the director of the OR and wanted to pass it on to Dr. H. My favorite part is the “i” that was drawn in.
On Faith
I gave up Facebook for Lent to grow in faith. Not only because it can be a time suck with link bait, but also because it was a space in which I found myself comparing my life to others. I think these two points from Christianity Today really hit the nail on the head about comparisons:
1) They can make us feel better than the person we are comparing ourselves to, leading to pride…
2) They can make us feel worse than the person we are comparing ourselves to, leading to low self-esteem, which still keeps our focus on ourselves…
Can I be honest for a minute? Because as much as I love that quote, I want to shout this at it:
Delayed. Gratification. Sucks. I said that to my father-in-law recently, and he laughed, “Yes, it does!”
I’m grateful for everything God has given me. Truly. I’d have to use Dr. H’s fingers and toes in addition to mine to count everything up. And even then, we’d have to use Rue’s paws to keep on going.
I just get a little tired of the wait sometimes…four years of undergraduate education…four years of medical school…three years of residency…another year if Dr. H becomes a chief resident…two or three more years of fellowship…
Marshmallows
Note: I believe the LDWs had a talk about marshmallows at the annual conference.
You know the marshmallow experiment they performed on 4-year-olds back in the day? A child would get one marshmallow. If after 15 minutes the child didn’t eat the marshmallow, he or she would get a second one.
We’re still waiting for the second marshmallow. Sigh.
My final presentation is tomorrow. Whoot! I remember August like it was yesterday. I remember sitting cross-legged on a kitchen chair penning (typing?) my hurt and anger over being slighted. But my friend M said something in Bible study a couple months ago that really stuck with me: “The Devil will do anything to take away your happiness.”
Bam. Amazing.
On Life
I’ve become a bit anti-technology when I get home from work. I realize I’m on my computer right now, and I have more than enough social media apps to keep me entertained, but I’m all for putting the phone away and being present in the moment. Someone showed me this sign and I wanted to applaud:
I’ve chided Dr. H a few times when it comes to his phone. I’d be saying something to him and he’d look up from his phone and ask, “What?” “GRRR! I SAID…!”
One thing on my mind lately is the frequency of posting here as well as sharing what goes on in my life on Facebook. I actually don’t do much of it, at least anymore. I used Facebook as a lifeline when I lived in New Mexico by myself to keep up with friends and family. I started this blog because medicine was a fascinating world as an outsider–who knew it’d affect our lives so profoundly? Now that we’re well into residency (and more than seven years into our relationship), medicine is normal. It’s the “short” 40-hour weeks that are weird. One day when we have kids, I’ll get to tell them about the time before medical school when he and I could be lazy all day together.
And tonight as I was typing notes for my slides, I took a break and read up on some entertainment news. Who knew I’d be quoting Josh Hartnett?!
“I purposefully didn’t want people to know too much about my personal life because I think a lot of people give it away for free,” he said. “I think if you spend too much time courting people’s attention into your personal life, you lose your ownership of it.”
I like writing. I also really like privacy. I’m at odds with myself, but perhaps this explains my online silence.
“A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of sheep.”
It’s nearly midnight, and I’m still turning the situation over and over in my mind. Whether intentional or unintentional, I can’t help but wonder if it happened because I look Asian.
I suppose it’s because I am Asian.
Actually, make that Asian-American.
But do I need to drape the United States flag around my shoulders to demonstrate my Americanness?
I have a tendency to overanalyze things, so I pray I’m wrong.
It’s just. I rarely feel racism (if any) directed my way. It obviously doesn’t happen at home. It doesn’t happen at school. It thankfully doesn’t happen at work. I haven’t felt this in a long while.
I jokingly tell my friends, “Buck up, young camper,” when things aren’t going their way. So here goes.
From meeting Bart and Whiskey to the brave mink to the very interesting hot springs to the meals by the river and creek to the last hike out to the waterfall, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Happy anniversary to my #mcm. Or, if truth be told, my #mcf (man crush forever).
I’m writing here because they made it Facebook official–I’m getting another sister! Congratulations to my brother-in-law and his new fiancee! I love the happy tears and the wedding-talk and the blending of families and the hope and joy that comes with the beginning of a marriage!
Medium Highs
On a similar, celebratory note, Dr. H and I are coming up on our two-year “cotton” anniversary. I ordered his cotton gift more than a week ago with the hopes that it’d arrive at our house so I could assemble it before we dashed off on our anniversary adventure, but note to self: plan and order at least one more week in advance.
Many people say, “My wedding day was the best day of my life.” Heck, I say my wedding day was the best day of my life. But then were does a couple go from there? Down?! I surely hope not! But inevitably, there will be ups and downs in any relationship, and love matures/changes along the way.
My friend M once told me that her husband can do nine things wonderfully and then “mess up” on the tenth thing; that tenth thing ends up being a point of contention in which she gives him grief about. But…
But…
Sigh. But then all she has to do is back up and remember those nine things and that helps to put things back into perspective. It can be a struggle sometimes to look for the good when the Devil throws a cloak over our eyes.
So, with that.
“As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” -Joshua 24:15
“I essentially had one free day a week, and I chose to spend it with family.”
Three out of the four excuses are true. No, I wasn’t on a technology sabbath or summer, but after reading up on the benefits of unplugging and watching this video that left a bad taste in my mouth, I vowed to be less attached to my phone at home. Side note: I dropped my iPhone in…ummm…dirty water…back in May and ended up using my old Blackberry for a month before I got a replacement. Not only did it run fantastically slow on 3G (30-second page load times on a good day), it also had a low-resolution camera that liked to turn every scene I shot about three shades darker than what it actually was.
I know, I know, First World problems.
I Had Homework
I had the brilliant idea to take a C++ programming class this summer. I’d come home from work (eight hours in front of a computer, give or take an hour), eat dinner, and then spend three hours reading and programming each night. By the seventh week, I was burned out. My eyes would be so very tired at the end of day.
And whaddaya know? I really enjoyed the class! Yes, it was challenging; one time, I spent 24 hours mulling over code without the faintest idea of where I went wrong. But I can’t explain the bursting joy you feel when your program runs correctly. I will say that this class has given me a greater appreciation of humans and software.
Oh, the Joys of Home Ownership
We’ve been renovating parts of our house and adding decorations here and there. I’ll just leave you with pictures of what we’ve done. Note: you can click on any picture to start a slideshow with larger pictures.
Basement
My little sister and her boyfriend came to see the before.
Before view of the bookshelf.
After view of the bookshelf.
Before view of the open space.
After view of the open space.
Not pictured: the slate gray sectional sofa we wiggled into the room. Wiggled is an understatement, but the basement family room has been a really neat space.
Backyard
Cleaning up the mulch from the poorly constructed xeriscape backyard.
Mulch in bags upon bags.
Starting to put in sod.
More sod.
Almost done with the sod.
Not pictured: the stump that grew right on the fence line is gone and we have a brand new fence on the east side! Also, our garden, which I’ll give an update in another blog.
Free Time is Family Time
In May, I watched my older cousin marry the love of her life in the mountains of northern California. We’d heard about the drought, but on her wedding day, it ended up raining. Good for them (if you believe in superstitions) and good for Mother Earth!
Dr. H had almost every Sunday off this summer. And Sundays in the summer means days at the lake. We don’t normally take pictures while we’re there, but his dad captured this one of me getting up on one ski.
Until next time, which will definitely come before that other month that begins with an “A,” hehe.
“But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.” -Matthew 6:33-34
House Hunting and Having Faith
We. Are. Almost. There.
It comes with the territory: your faith will be tested the moment you begin your house search.
If someone had told me that two months ago, I would’ve laughed. How in the world will it test my faith? It’ll test my pocketbook, that’s for sure.
Naivete. I can’t tell you how many times I cried and asked God what in the world He was up to. In many parts of the country, the housing market is cooling down. Where we live, well, we’re on this 10 hottest housing markets for 2015 list compiled by CNN Money. After losing out to a cash offer on the third house, I was a ball of stress. I must’ve been so unpleasant because Dr. H ordered me out of the kitchen (we were preparing dinner together) to go somewhere quiet and pray.
Though I’m not proud of it, my initial prayers came out along the lines of this: “Please, God! Please, you know we loved that house! I’m begging you, Lord. You know a desire of our hearts is to have a home–why hasn’t it happened?!”
Yikes. Sounds like I’m a needy, selfish person who treats God like a genie with a magic lamp. But by His grace, my prayers changed: “God, thank you for this day. Your will be done.”
Just wanted to share a bit of our future backyard. You can even see St. Francis, whom I’m sure helped to seal the deal.
For the first time ever, Dr. H and I donated to public radio.
And not to the news station, which we enjoy, but to the classical music station, which I’ve been playing on my morning and evening commutes. I find it calms the nerves.
Ahem. Calms the nerves.
Calms the–COME ON, FOLKS! MOVE IT!
Yeesh. I may have a slight problem when it comes to driving in rush hour traffic. But seriously, the music does help. I play the piano, and though I’d rather play contemporary songs, such as “Let it Go” or “Pure Imagination,” I find myself rocking out to Symphony No. 5 I. Allegro Con Brio and drumming my fingers on the steering wheel to Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1 in D.
We also recently subscribed to the hard copy newspaper. To me, they both scream, “I’M AN ADULT!”
[So I threw it on the ground!]
I hope that made sense to you. If not, enlighten yourself with this ridiculous SNL short with Andy Samberg.
On Faith
At the beginning of the year in my Bible study, we pick out virtue cards from a deck and work on that particular virtue throughout the year. I swirled the cards around and plucked out generosity.
Interesting.
One, on a monetary level, I’ve been tightening my belt and encouraging Dr. H to do the same to build a cushion for when we buy a house. Three days after that, I was offered a full time position. You can read into the situation however you’d like, but to me, it was kind of, “Stop letting ‘house’ consume your thoughts, Monica. It’s okay if ‘house’ doesn’t happen when you want it to. No one’s going to die. Think about others first; give back.”
Two, on a personal level, I can be generous with my time, more specifically being present in the moment.
Want to know what gets my goat? It’s when I’m talking to someone and the person reaches for his or her phone to pull up goodness-knows-what. I can only imagine there’s someone else out there who feels the same way. I know I’ve done it speaking with Dr. H. In fact, a couple days ago, I wanted to show him this chateau that’s being renovated in the south of France. As I grabbed my phone off the kitchen counter, I realized what I’d done and told him it could wait. As he was on his way out for the night shift, that’s when I quickly pointed out the beautiful architecture, landscape, and hidden gems they’ve captured on their blog and Instagram.
Note: being generous with my time definitely extends beyond my marriage.
Lent has begun. And I completely missed out on making gumbo or something else Cajun-related for Mardi Gras, but that’s not the point now, is it?
During this season, we ask God to change our hearts. Fr. C explained a little bit about the different virtues, gifts, and charisms of the Holy Spirit, which can help us grow closer to Him and draw others to Him as well.
I’ll let you in on a secret: when I went through confirmation as a freshman in high school, I could’ve cared less about Catholicism. I was fulfilling the sacrament to please my mother and to check another “church thing” off my list. I never rebelled (the battle hymn of my tiger mother prevented that), but it wasn’t until I was 20 that I started taking my faith a little more seriously. I started asking questions and reading. A couple months after Dr. H (then, Mr. H) and I started dating, I knew something was different. Beyond his general good looks, big brain, and fun-loving personality, I was drawn to his faith. I knew back then that I’d need a strong faith leader in our home (yes, I knew within a couple months that I was going to marry Dr. H) and I’m completely blessed to say that’s still the case.
Now, as for changing my heart, I’ve never really considered the virtues, gifts, or charisms–inherent or developed–in my life. Was I sick and missed that chapter in religious education that day? Well, here we go.
On Call
It’s becoming a pattern: I write when Dr. H is on night shift. But do you know what else is a pattern? I buy granola bars around this time as well. I guess it’s my concerted effort to make sure he has a healthy enough of a snack when the cafeteria closes at night. I’d rather he NOT be nocturnal–he’s missing out on sun!–but I think it’s starting to “get easier” when he’s off saving lives and I’m at home entertaining our cat. Or more likely, doing homework, housework, or both.
Mostly because I love him, trust Him, and know that life can’t stop just because we’re not together. I have a feeling I may eat my words when we have children, but for the time being, it’s really about cherishing each other in the time you’re given.
How are we already in February?! And a beautiful February to boot!
On Life
A fellow doctor’s wife posed a question recently, and I’m only paraphrasing: your husband is a doctor, does that affect your decision to work outside of the home?
For me, no, I found my niche–I like what I do!
And when I mean I like what I do, it actually changes a little next week. I earned a promotion and my career path just took a turn toward technology. Read: website and mobile development and digital technology integration into our existing systems for a better consumer experience.
Truth be told, I’m a little nervous, mostly because a few people talked me up to the SVP and VP of marketing and communications and I’m worried that I’m going to fall short of their expectations. I met up with my friend A for our group project yesterday and she told me that I may have impostor syndrome. I hope that explains my recent checkouts from the library: HTML5 and CSS3 and Eloquent JavaScript.
And as for dating Dr. H, he had the day off yesterday–gasp! A Saturday?! We went to the local community symphony orchestra and listened to beautiful music ranging from I Dreamed a Dream to Rhapsody in Blue.
On Faith
My friend E is (or was) reading Women of Opus Dei and recalled a part about offering up our sufferings to God for others. And like God always does in His perfect timing, Dr. H and I went to church and listened to an AWESOME homily about a similar thing about mercy in death and how the dying can offer their sufferings up to God for others. As Catholics, we believe in the dignity of life from conception to natural death. I hope that 73+ years from now (I’m convinced Dr. H and I will live to at least 100) that we will have lived faithful lives and get to do the same.
On Call
When I tell people that Dr. H is currently working in the MICU, I get all sorts of, “Awww, that’s so cute!” responses. And then I clarify and say, “Oh, no, not NICU, it’s MICU, as in medical ICU.” And then I explain how it’s different from the ICUs portrayed on television after traumatic car accidents and things like that.
I asked him about the nurses in this particular area of medicine and he exhaled with a, “They’re really smart.” Good to know! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the nurses in my life, it’s, “Treat nurses nicely because they’re basically your best friends.”
